Element 4 of the Neurodiverse Communication Ecosystem is Boundaries. 

Boundaries begin with setting a foundation we call our Zone of Safety.  Your Zone of Safety begins within you.  

Listed below are a variety of resources you can explore this week and throughout the month as we move through the first 3 Boundary Types: physical, material and time.  These are just suggestions and a way to present different voices on the topic of emotional and mental feeling of safety and how to begin working towards creating your Personal Zone of Safety. 

The guided meditation by Kristin Neff is one you can try when you aren't feeling a big emotion so that when you do, going through the meditation is more familiar and less stressful than trying to do it when you are feeling a strong emotion and listening for the first time.

Some resources that are helpful in identifying your needs, tuning into your body and beginning to establish your personal Zone of Safety:

Article on Identifying Needs:  https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/how-to-know-and-own-your-needs/ 

I know this next article is written for foster parents and not directed to the autistic adult, but there is so much good information and insights in this article including how they share the impact of how safety feels when trauma has been experienced in a person's life that I think the information is helpful to gain additional Zone of Safety insights and understanding.  https://fosteringperspectives.org/fpv17n2/psychological-safety.html 

One of the areas that many encounter along their boundary setting journey is fear.  Ali and I mentioned this in the video above and we have both experienced these feelings of fear when setting boundaries as we were first starting out.  Heck, I still come to places in my life where fear enters and I have to take a deep breath and remind myself it is a useful feeling that brings my attention to an area I have not yet uncovered in my awareness (it still feels uncomfortable to feel them but now they aren't scary.)  This resource speaks about embracing fear and can be helpful to read about this perspective.  https://www.heartfulnesspath.com/blog/-developing-an-internal-sense-of-safety-much-ado-about-fear-part-2 

Dr. Kristin Neff works in the field of self compassion and helping people make deeper more compassionate connections within themselves.  Her guided meditation here on how to work with big or strong feelings in your body can be very helpful in this process when you feel fear and anxiety. https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/softensootheallow_cleaned_01-cleanedbydan.mp3 

Journal Reflection Prompt:

What do I want to add more of to my life that helps me create a deeper feeling of safety this week?

If you would like to join the Coaching Cafe Academy or learn more, email Ali & Carole Jean to set up a consultation at:

coachingcafeacademy@gmail.com