Autistic women often develop sophisticated strategies to mask our autistic traits, a phenomenon known as camouflaging. 

This “silent mask” allows us to navigate social situations and meet societal expectations, but at a significant cost. 

This article delves into the complexities of camouflaging, its impact on identity loss, and provides essential insights for clinicians and therapists working with autistic women.

The Phenomenon of Camouflaging

Camouflaging involves consciously or unconsciously suppressing autistic traits and adopting neurotypical behaviors. It can manifest as compensatory strategies (e.g., rehearsing social interactions), mimicry (e.g., mirroring body language), or suppression of stimming. 

Societal pressures, such as the desire to fit in or avoid stigma, drive many autistic women to mask.  There is also a hidden and more silent driver for autistic masking- internal emotional safety. However, this constant performance requires immense emotional labor, leading to exhaustion and burnout.

The Impact on Identity Loss

Years of masking can lead to a profound disconnect from the authentic self. Autistic women may struggle to identify their own needs, preferences, and emotions. 

For many of us, especially late identified, we have never asked ourselves what we like or if we even enjoy something because we’ve masked from such an early age.

The process of self-discovery after decades of masking can be challenging, as we grapple with questions of identity and authenticity. 

The link between masking and burnout is undeniable; the constant effort to maintain the mask depletes energy and resources, leading to a state of chronic exhaustion. The biggest impact from my own experience and that shared with me by my clients is the feeling that we don’t even belong to ourselves.

Insights for Clinicians and Therapists

Clinicians and therapists must recognize camouflaging in diagnostic and therapeutic settings. Autistic women may present with anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, masking their underlying autistic identity. 

Creating a safe, non-judgmental space is crucial for clients to feel comfortable unmasking.  Remember, many of us have no clue we are masking.  Neurodiversity-affirming practices, which validate autistic experiences and emotions, are essential along with a trauma sensitive approach.

Therapy should focus on exploring identity, self-discovery, and building self-compassion in a very gentle way. Clinicians can help clients identify their strengths (we usually dismiss what we are good at as nothing special), develop nervous system regulation strategies (I have found specific breath work patterns to be the fastest and most impactful way to regulate), and create a life that aligns with their authentic selves.

Practical Recommendations

Begin by exploring and defining what masking is and what it isn’t.  Our Whittington Well-Being Masking Styles Quiz is a great place to start.  

Ask clients about their experiences with masking: 

“How do you adapt who you are being in social situations?” 

“What aspects of yourself do you feel you have to hide?” 

Be sure to give examples as many of us need specific information to begin understanding how we may be masking and did not realize it on a conscious level.

Recommend resources on camouflaging and autism in women. Reflect on your own biases and assumptions about autism.

Understanding camouflaging is essential for supporting autistic women. Empathy, validation, and a commitment to neurodiversity-affirming practices are crucial. By creating inclusive spaces and fostering self-discovery, clinicians can help autistic women reclaim their authentic selves.

Carole Jean Whittington
Transforming Exhaustion to Sustainable Energy for Autistic Women and Their Support Team

Meet Carole Jean Whittington, a multi-award winning disability inclusion leader advocating for equitable healthcare policy and practice for autistic women.  

Carole Jean is the author of "Unleashing Sustainable Energy" a groundbreaking book setting new accessibility standards in the publishing world, along with her upcoming book, “Finding Her Autistic Self: A Guide to Self Discovery”  publishing on May 2, 2025.

Her work is reshaping the landscape of support for autistic women and their support team, fostering equitable access to healthcare and guiding autistic women to an intimate and authentic relationship with themselves. 

Carole Jean hosts the popular talk show, "Beyond Chronic Burnout," a global sensation that captivates audiences in over 100 countries. Spotify has honored "Beyond Chronic Burnout" as a top 10% podcast in the Self-Help category for 2022 & 2024 recognizing its profound impact on the Autistic community.

As Chef Well-Being Officer and Lead Researcher at Whittington Well-Being, she’s developed proprietary and groundbreaking solutions to burnout recovery for autistic women, including The UnVeiling Method, Rapid Recharge Lab, and The Inclusive Communication Ecosystem.

Through her current pursuit of a Master's in Public Health, and with over a decade of research and application, lives are transformed, and a more inclusive and supportive world is being built.

Connect with Carole Jean Today!

Contact Carole Jean Whittington:

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